The R.Kelly Of Canadian Skateboarding…
Written  by smcdonald

We got an email over at King Shit in December. It wasn’t even to any of us, it just randomly showed up in our info email address one day. The jist of it was telling us to post this other guy, Evan Rissi’s new web series in our news. We did one better, we tracked Evan down, made him a lucrative offer of zero dollars to run his web series on our web site and signed him for our exciting 2011 season. And thus Trife Life was bequeathed upon Canadian skateboarding. So I interviewed Evan considering that aside from shamelessly plugging our newest web feature, he’s also a stand up comedian. But unlike his cleverly crafted monologues, this interview isn’t funny.

So Evan, why don’t you tell us about yourself?
Okay!

This is where you tell the readers who you are and why they’re reading about you right now.
Oh, gotcha. Sorry. I was being difficult there. I guess that’s something about me then, I don’t much like talking about myself. Which might make for an interesting interview.

Yeah. Totally.
I may be the vaguest person at times.

So you’re a skateboarder then? Correct?
Yeap! I have been known to push around from time to time. Not as much as I’d like to.

When did you start skating?
I think the first time I started ‘skating’ was when I was living in Geneva, Switzerland in ’93. I bought some shitty American flag banana board and started bombing the hill by the ghetto apartment buildings I was living in. Then I think I started again in grade 6 or 7.

And you’re in what grade now?
I graduated from University in 2008.

Right and what did you take in university?
For the most part… I studied the female anatomy. And then when I wasn’t doing that. I was double majoring in Communications and History.

Double majoring?
Correct.

Keep in mind our readers are skateboarders and will likely never see a university campus. Aside from the other end of a mop that is.
Not true. York has a banger manual pad and a Big 3 block set.

And you’re also a comedian or something?
Yeah, sometimes I tell jokes onstage.

Can you give us an example of a joke? Like a comedy freestyle?
My bank account.

Touché. Have you ever though about combining the two? Skateboarding and comedy?  “So what’s the deal with pushing mongo?”
Man, you should see me skateboard these days. It IS comedy.

When did you start doing stand up?
I’m not sure really. I had always made stupid videos or whatever, written things that had some comedic styling to it. The natural progression kind of took me there. Maybe a year and a half ago?

And I’ve read you were heavily influenced by vaudeville. Tell us about that…
Ah yes, vaudeville. What the fuck is vaudeville?

A type of entertainment popular chiefly in the U.S. in the early 20th century, featuring a mixture of specialty acts such as burlesque comedy and song and dance.
I said I went to University, I didn’t say I preferred the company of men.

Yes. Exactly. I really should have had my intern look at these questions first. I’m really sorry.
If I wanted somebody to question my sexuality, I would’ve gone to H&M

Can we take a few steps back?
Of course.

I swear I had some good questions…
You have to let me see this before you throw it online. I’ll be ruined !

No worries. You’ll see my trancribbling of the interview. But I can do nothing about the live webcast Push is doing of this interview. Speaking of which I need to fax you a talent release…
I went sailing on a boat this summer called the Shadowfax…

That’s very white of you.
I had to leave early. Puked the entire time. I had to hitchhike to Sudbury and then bussed to Toronto.

So can you find any parallels between stand up comedy and skateboarding?
Nope…. Wait, I’m bad at both?

Indeed. Tell your agent to call me when we’re through.
My mom goes to bed early

She sold this to me as “this guy who skateboards and does stand up comedy…”"right up your alley. He’s actually working on a special where he tells jokes while skateboarding…”
Maybe in the future. I don’t really have standard one-liners; I definitely deal with more observational and anecdotal humour. I hate obnoxious standup comedy.

While Evan has no upcoming Canadian shows, he is doing a two-week stint at the Comedy Pouch in Possum Ridge Arkansas this coming February. That is, if you find yourself in Possum Ridge Arkansas for some odd reason.